The new year post.

It’s cold outside, one of the coldest nights of this season so far. But it’s colder inside. As I lie all buried in my blanket, I symbolically think back on the time gone by as I change my calendar on my side table. It was a year of new challenges, learnings, adjustments, realisation and love.

Overall it was a good year but my focus is making a shift to the part that was after all not so good. Unfortunately that ugly part comes down onto me. Here I am, confessing to you all today because this is someplace where I am free, where I am unbound. I wouldn’t be judged and I can drop my baggage before I head into the new year. Bear with me.

I have had days where I was in self-doubt, constantly struggling to make my way, afraid of what others might approve/disapprove of. I could notice an invariable change in my personality so much so that I had jumping personalities as I jumped from meeting one person to another. Like a saint I tried giving up expectations but so far it has turned out to be the self created delusion and hasn’t done any good. I have also realised that I am hopelessly emotional and sensitive and that has somehow added to the agony. My health has deteriorated over the last few months, probably because I gave other things more importance. 

Emotionally it has been a hell of a roller coaster. I’ve had highs, I’ve had lows. One moment I was filled with love, the next completely drained and left empty. I’ve had laughter, I’ve had tears. Most of it was probably self built up coz that’s what I’m asked to believe and eventually I find comfort in the fact and thank god for it all not being real. It’s a zone where my logics and explanations do not work. It’s a place where I do not want to go. 

No matter how I have been in the past year at personal and emotional level but I’m pretty sure that the coming year would still be filled with sweet hopes, spirituality and honest love to spread around. Certain points that I have learnt and will keep in mind while I tread through these months ahead are- 

•Keep your health at the top of your priority list.

•Its okay to have some expectations, but from the right people.

•Keep doing your thing, people will still talk and judge if you don’t.

•Give yourself the time to do things that you enjoy. It ain’t coming back.

I wish you all light and love and hope. Be better.
Thanks for reading me vent out.

Until next time folks.
-A

Best Friend.

After hanging up your phone call, I just realised, it’s been 10 years since you’ve been my dearest friend. A decade! I feel so honoured and so much at peace, just thinking about having you in my life. We’ve grown up together, sharing our lives in the sweetest form, learning from each other, supporting one another, looking out for each other.

The memories that I have of our childhood- truly innocent and pure. You showed me what it’s like to love someone without expecting anything in return, you set an example by having stood by in the worse times, you showered utmost care and compassion when I needed it. You may not take the credit, but of many things that I am today, the little share of good ones that is there- many are because of you. 

The platonic connect we have, the unsaid understanding we share- it feels like a comfortable mattress where I can fall upon when I feel fragile. Months go by without talking to you but my thoughts always encircle around you. I write this today not because I need to tell you all this- you already know (because you are among those few who know me better than myself). I am writing this because our bond is eternal and I want to leave an imprint of it beyond time. 

I love you Divyani, for the beautiful person you are, for the amazing life you’ve made for yourself and for honouring me with your friendship. I am truly blessed. Keep loving me 🙂 .

Until next time.

Love 

-A

On Such A Rainy Day!

My favorite time of the year is now here. It’s a silly reason to be happy about the arrival of monsoon, but, just like a little child, I am. The sky and clouds are in full run to show their magnificent display of art. The bright hues turning into shades of grey and then a band of colors emerging, mounting them all – isn’t it just spectacular! This part of the year reinforces my beliefs in nature’s miracles, like anything is possible, like I might just get all that I’d hoped for, especially when I had stopped looking.

To some it might be just another rainy day- hampering their work, disturbing their schedule. But to me- it’s an opportunity to pause and take a look at the beauty around, it’s the nature’s way to give me a break in the monotonous life and enjoy a day off, it’s the time to let the raindrops fall on me and let them tingle my skin, make me feel important just by reminding me that there’s somebody above who’s looking down at me and wishes to see me smile.

It’s amazing how I can put all my thoughts aside and just live the moment. The connect I feel to the nature is strangely even stronger than the one’s in my routine with people around. The positivity that flushes through, it’s unmatchable to any other source. It’s probably because of my childhood days. I still remember, on a rainy day, how my dad used to return home from office as soon as it began to pour. With all the yummy munchies that my mom cooked and our entire family gathered on the patio, kids drenching in the rain and some (like me) busy in building their ships to put them out on sail. (Oh, how dad worked meticulously to have me build the strongest paper ships among all). The long car drives with windows open and water drops gushing in with the wind – I felt like my dad was a superman who could even manage to drive in such a weather. The thrill I felt, its nowhere close to the adrenaline pump i get in any other adventure today. And that is because, with mom and dad, I knew that the only reason the munchies were prepared, dad was back from office, ships were being built and we were out on a drive – was because i had wanted it all! And the mystical part of the story (my favourite part) – I never said it out loud, but they understood. They made me believe in magic, in possibilities.

Its because of them that I have an eye of appreciating nature in the most simple form. I’ll forever owe it to them. And my heart will never feel the same thrill until the next time my dad takes me out on another drive on such a rainy day!

Me: Papa! My ship isn’t strong. It will sink in the middle of it’s journey.

Papa: Don’t worry, it will sail through. And just incase it doesn’t, why did i teach you to swim? Go for it. You’ll be just fine.

Thanks for being my tutor Mama and Papa. The best ever! You keep me going for it. Love You!

Until next time folks.

Love

-A

Getting Around. #snailspeed

I spent today’s evening watching a movie. Up till two-third part of the movie I couldn’t help but think, why didn’t I read a review beforehand so that I could have saved myself from such a torture and some of my money. But I’m glad that I didn’t! By the time the movie ended, it left me in a positive zone- a zone where we’re reminded as to what is important in life.

Life isn’t too long. Each one of us has a limited time and the beauty is, time neither waits nor repeats for anyone. For each day, for each moment, we’ve got just one shot! Coz we all know, we cannot live the same moment that has gone by, ever again. When I say this, I do not mean that we cannot afford to commit mistakes. We sure can! Coz they can be rectified at the right MOMENT. But what cannot be undone is the loss of time we suffer.

There is no bible that tells us how to live by each moment. But it isn’t rocket science too! It just needs a little consideration from us to focus and rejoice the little things in life and not run after the big picture. We are not machines. Sadly, we are driven more by technology and gadgets than emotions and other fellow humans today, more by the apartment size and pay checks than the number of family members and quality time spent with loved ones. But as it’s said, ‘We steer the wheel of our own life, nobody or nothing else should be given that control.’

And the time is always right to do right. So, let’s make some amendments in our list of priorities to not miss out on the real meaningful pleasures in life. It could mean making a phone call in the middle of a busy day to remind your mom of her doctor’s appointment. Or it could mean returning home soon from office to put your child into bed. It could be anything for anyone. But think. Consider. Amend. Coz life’s running at a pace which we don’t even realise how fast is right now. But soon our hair will turn grey, skin will start to sag and our hearts would rewind the years gone by. But nothing could be done then. 

My friend, let each day be worth remembering. For all we know, it’s one life that we’ve been given so let us appreciate and acknowledge its exclusivity to the best.

P.S. This is the personal section where I couldn’t help but write to Him.

Dear You

Each moment of my life since the day you stepped in it has been like the colourful firework show. Just like it, my days are filled with thrill, light, sparks, colors and the festive vibe. You’ve played a crucial role in making me realise how each moment can be turned into a precious memory and treasured. Thank You. 

“Everything is, everything exists, because I love.”

Yours

Me

Until next time folks.

Love 

A

The Mountain Girl.

Oh! There you are again
I can see you now
As I look up at the mountain range
Sitting at my window pane.
Years have gone by
But you’re still the same
A fragment of my imagination 
Still intact and unchanged.

‘Oh little girl, how does it feel?
To be surrounded by clouds 
In a little hut, on a cliff?
With a fireplace to keep you warm
And white mittens that feel so soft
The hot cocoa at your desk
The music on the radio flirting in the air
The raindrops tip-tapping on your glass
The tiny shoes you put on for a dance
The twinkling yellow lights that adorn your bed
The fairytale books that are piled up in your rack
The chiffon curtain which play with the winds
The cozy little bed that you jump in
Your little friends that come by and play
The fresh baked muffins that your mom makes
The cheers and laughter you all share
With no worries there to bear.’

‘Oh Little Girl,
How does it feel?
When you look down upon the world
In which I live in.
Do you wonder too
What would it be like
To be down here 
And live a life?’

It ain’t mean here 
But people hurt each other at times
It ain’t bad here
But hypocrisy is their favourite crime
It ain’t sad here 
But laughter ain’t genuine all the time.
Love, too, has its place here
But the conditions that come along
Are hard to bear.
I’m told this is the real world
But why then,
Masks are what people wear.

‘Oh Little Mountain Girl,
Stay where you are
You give me hope for a utopia.
Someday somehow I’ll come to you 
And together we’ll take a look 
At the world below.’

Until next time folks.
Love
-A

Featured Image Courtesy: Pinterest 

Day of Love.

The ‘day of love’ is round the corner and I can spot the stores decorated with huge red colored heart shaped balloons, the Facebook wall loaded with proposals and promises, the broadcast messages in my phone filled with the fancy quotes on love, etc.

Well, there is for sure, too much love in the air and in the materialism that comes along. But it makes me wonder, how much love there truly lies in our hearts and thoughts! Just saying.

On one hand, I find this whole concept of V-Day quite logical- to dedicate a day in the name of love, like paying some tribute! And in a world like ours, where true love is the rarest of the rarest gem to be found, it well deserves it.

But on the other hand, it makes me laugh at the mockery that is made in the name of love! Why is it that we need one particular day to show all our love to somebody special?! Isn’t that supposed to be a daily affair- to make them feel special!

I guess, this is one of those days which is beyond my understanding and reasoning.

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The other day, I opened my journal to pen down, and I found a few petals of a rose flower pressed between the pages, long time ago. In the course of time, they have lost their vibrant colors and turned pale- leaving beautiful impressions on the lined pages of my diary. With time they have lost their fragrance amidst these leaflets of my diary- leaving a mild aroma cocooned within the pages, which welcomes me, every time I open it.

These impressions will forever be there, no matter what. Isn’t love too, supposed to be like that? With time, love will mature, the colors might change, the fragrance might grow milder or change notes, but the impressions of that love on someone’s heart would stay forever. It would be like – letting somebody’s love being imprinted on one’s heart! 

And to be imprinted by somebody’s love, so pure, could be the sweetest blessing. And for such a love, a lifetime wouldn’t be enough, leave aside just a day in the year.

Anyways, to my readers and their loved ones- may each day of yours be filled with love and hope. Make each day count.

Sending love and luck

-A

Three Angels.

Just like my last post, this one again is quite personal. Earlier, I had this notion of being private about my family and friends. But one fine day I realized – what’s the whole point anyway?! This world is in dearth of one most precious thing, which is found the least in today’s time- LOVE. So I thought, why not share my little times of love with all my readers and let my favourite people too know how much I love and adore them.

Today this post is dedicated to my three lovely maniacs!

With you three, I have a family beyond my blood family. In the last two years, you have become an integral part of my life. When we all came together and formed our pack, I had never imagined the times with with you would be among the most memorable ones!

Since the first day when we had all started to begin to learn and adjust in our work environment- trying to make a place and a name, till today- You have slowly crept into the deep and safe corners of my heart. 

Each little incident is clearly etched in my memory-

The initial times when my eyes looked around in a sea of new people and you welcomed me with open arms of friendship,

The times when our lunch breaks grew longer for our never-ending talks,

The times when you made me fall off my chair laughing,

The times when you protected me when somebody raised a finger at me,

The times when you went ahead and fought for me,

The times when you listened to me blabber incessantly,

The times when we enjoyed the rains and our drives,

The times when we bunked and made random plans.

The list is endless, but the times which are most important- the times when you made me feel special (which was everyday), for that- THANK YOU! Thank you for each day that you’ve been around me.. With you around, my world is a happier place, my shortcomings do not matter, my sorrows vanish, my laughter doubles, my worries are automatically taken care of, my smile never goes away! Suffice is to say- you are my lifelines. 

You are my armour

You are my knight 

You are my pocket

Full of sunshine.

I’ve needed you all along

I’ll love you forever and long

You are my blessings in disguise

You are my angels beneath the sky.

 

A Good Omen, Indeed!

With the city turned into a hill station, having no sun to welcome the new year, I lie down lazily on the couch and look out the window. I, frequently wipe the glass to get rid of the mist and look beyond to the lush green trees dancing along the tunes of the winter winds. A flight of pigeons passes by on the vast blue canvas.

My eyes are now dreamy and too mesmerized by the view to do anything but look away. It’s probably like love at a sight, I feel like wanting to write something beautiful. But I’m unable to write. I want my words to flow like raindrops meandering down the window pane creating the beautiful patterns of love, hope and promises yet to be fulfilled. But, I’m so glued to the view that my eyes refuse to shift to the notepad on my desk. I guess, that’s what love is, in the most truest sense- To be engrossed in the moment to feel it deep inside, moving and tickling our every sensibility, and opening our heart completely to the moment, and not be disturbed by the other thoughts passing by, no matter what.

Well, I guess, I fell in love with the view that nature had to offer me on the very first day of the new year. I’ll take it as a good omen. Indeed!

Breathe Out A Bit Of Love!

It was just like a usual evening and I had gone for a run at the city park after a long day’s work. As I parked my car and got out with my earphones plugged in my iPod and music bursting loud, I was stopped on my way by two little kids. They weren’t keeping well and asked me for some money. I told them that I’ll buy them food, but on a condition- they button up their shirts and wash their face. They immediately rushed towards the Shiv temple which was a few steps away and splashed water on their face from the water cooler. Meanwhile, I bought a few biscuits from a small departmental store and moved towards them. The smile on their faces moved me. I hadn’t seen them before, yet the joy in their eyes was quite satisfying for me, that moment. I gave them the biscuits and headed off to the park for my jog. It was a good end to my day.

Eventually, from that day on, meeting those two kids became a regular affair. I started to keep a few packets of biscuits in my car itself for them. The kids kept them clean, with their shirts buttoned up everyday. Smart chaps they were. The moment they used to see my car getting parked at the usual spot, they would come running. And frankly, even my eyes used to be in search of them as I stepped out everyday. Unknowingly, we’d somehow become friends.

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Well, today wasn’t one of my ‘best days’ in record- a long day at work and a quarrel with a colleague. Though I was very tired, an evening jog was much needed to clear my head and get some air.

I parked my car and got out. My two friends came running, but today I was too indifferent to them. The stress at work had done its job well, it seemed. I ignored them and left for my workout. While on the track, my heart wasn’t at ease as my thoughts went back to the kids. Somehow, I didn’t feel good about myself. But what was done, was done! After all, they were just two little kids- whose’ names too, I had not known. I guess, it never occurred to me that I hadn’t asked them at all.

I soon finished my jog and reached for my car keys in the pocket as I returned to my car. I saw the two kids sitting on the bonnet of my car. Wasn’t expecting that at all. As I approached near, one of them questioned me with a gloomy face, “Aap naraaz ho kya hum se?” That one innocent question was enough to make me realise, that I had been so unfair to them. Soon, I apologised and gave them their biscuits. And finally, I enquired their name. Raja and Amit then told me about their day’s events and I had a good time, indeed. Soon, I left for home with a smile on my face.

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Sometimes, all we need, is a little reminder of how beautiful life is. If we have pain, we certainly don’t have to be one. Everyday, we must reach out to someone. Everyday, we must breathe out a bit of love.

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FINDING ANSWERS? No more!

‘Ignorance is Bliss’

True that. Hell, yeah!

Sometimes it’s good to remain a jackass and not know all the things. To stay in dark is peaceful sometimes. Well definitely better than to know the bitter truth, atleast! Some questions are best when left unanswered, some doubts are better as self than cleared.

We all face situations where we start to look for answers. There’s nothing wrong with that. But not always knowing everything seems to be healthy for our own selves. We need to find courage to let it go sometimes; letting go of the questions which we know might hurt bad; be devastating; trust breaking; making us fall on to our faces and leave nothing else in the end but scars. All that is important is to make peace with that state of mind of ours. To stay content. To feel blessed.

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To let go, is to fear less.
To let go, is to believe more.
To let go, is to find peace.
To let go, is to love more.

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