The new year post.

It’s cold outside, one of the coldest nights of this season so far. But it’s colder inside. As I lie all buried in my blanket, I symbolically think back on the time gone by as I change my calendar on my side table. It was a year of new challenges, learnings, adjustments, realisation and love.

Overall it was a good year but my focus is making a shift to the part that was after all not so good. Unfortunately that ugly part comes down onto me. Here I am, confessing to you all today because this is someplace where I am free, where I am unbound. I wouldn’t be judged and I can drop my baggage before I head into the new year. Bear with me.

I have had days where I was in self-doubt, constantly struggling to make my way, afraid of what others might approve/disapprove of. I could notice an invariable change in my personality so much so that I had jumping personalities as I jumped from meeting one person to another. Like a saint I tried giving up expectations but so far it has turned out to be the self created delusion and hasn’t done any good. I have also realised that I am hopelessly emotional and sensitive and that has somehow added to the agony. My health has deteriorated over the last few months, probably because I gave other things more importance. 

Emotionally it has been a hell of a roller coaster. I’ve had highs, I’ve had lows. One moment I was filled with love, the next completely drained and left empty. I’ve had laughter, I’ve had tears. Most of it was probably self built up coz that’s what I’m asked to believe and eventually I find comfort in the fact and thank god for it all not being real. It’s a zone where my logics and explanations do not work. It’s a place where I do not want to go. 

No matter how I have been in the past year at personal and emotional level but I’m pretty sure that the coming year would still be filled with sweet hopes, spirituality and honest love to spread around. Certain points that I have learnt and will keep in mind while I tread through these months ahead are- 

•Keep your health at the top of your priority list.

•Its okay to have some expectations, but from the right people.

•Keep doing your thing, people will still talk and judge if you don’t.

•Give yourself the time to do things that you enjoy. It ain’t coming back.

I wish you all light and love and hope. Be better.
Thanks for reading me vent out.

Until next time folks.


Someday. Somewhere. Somehow.

Sitting in my balcony at this hour, suddenly reminded me of a beautiful night amidst the mountains in McLeod Gunj. 

It was late and as usual, I was out under the stars while everyone else slept after a tired long day of travelling and sightseeing. There was something in the calm winds which nudged me now and then, brushing through my hair. It was Divine. Sitting wrapped up in my shawl I lay thinking about all that I did in the day and then my thoughts drifted to what all I had to see and do. There was plenty. To make a list and remember it, I ran inside my hotel room on my toes in order to not disturb my brother sleeping there. I caught hold of my hand bag and took out my little diary. I came back and settled in my chair soon and began to jot down everything that rushed through my mind. 

The list included anything and everything. From ice skating to sky diving, from singing live infront of an audience (despite having the worst singing voice) to camping out in the woods, from falling in love to roaming alone in the streets of an unknown city, from trying every possible cuisine to swinging on hammock and watch the day go by, from reading a good book all day long to spending my evenings with my grandparents listening to their legendary stories.. these were a few things that I could recall from what I had written that day.. there were many more.. I had spent almost the entire night in this. 

Going back to all this at this point make me realise how time has flown by, the maturity has crept in (without my permission though) and things have changed. That carefree little girl is now a grown up (at least I like to think so). The one who never thought twice before expressing her stupid dreams and useless demands, now keeps it all in her heart thinking people would laugh and judge and expect her to behave APPROPRIATELY. Does ageing mean this? To stop being the carefree one?! To not be in a position to demand or dream of the silliest things?! Why everything needs to be so PROPER and so APPROPRIATE . Can’t it all just be the way it wants to be.

Now when I sit all by myself at times, there’s something lacking in the whole feel of it. It’s not the same anymore. It’s probably because I don’t let myself flow away in those careless thoughts which now seem unreal at times. They seem stupid and at times they seem to be not making any sense at all. There. That’s the reason I have never felt that divine calmness of that evening ever again. 

It’s a faint memory but a very special one. I miss that balcony of my hotel room and I miss that diary of mine.

I hope someday I’ll be able to fly in my thoughts yet again. Someday I’ll be somewhere, where I could drop this baggage of being a grown up and somehow I’ll make a list again. 

Until next time folks

Clarity amidst Black, White and Grey.

This post is an extension to my previous blog post ‘Black. White. Grey.’ You can read it HERE. And this one is for an intrigued reader: I hope I’m able to satisfy your curiosity by the end of it. 

In the earlier post I had written, “If you think of putting your faith into someone or some organisation, consider it as putting a piece of your soul into it.” 
Well, once you’ve put down your faith into an entity (mind you, after a lot of pondering over it), treat it as if it’s a part of your wealth which you’ve locked into a treasure box and kept away. There might be times when you’ll fall in doubts or when somebody instigates you against it when the winds aren’t blowing in the favourable or desired direction, BUT hold on to your conviction unless you’re disproven.

The Holy Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” 
I’d like to amend it and put it as, “Have faith in yourself and lean completely on your conviction until the end. After all what is faith if it doesn’t endure when we are tested most.” 

Until next time folks.



Black. White. Grey.

From the archives.

Faith. It’s a peculiar thing. To earn it is the hardest, to put into somebody is the scariest and to lose it is the easiest. 

In this big banged world, all around, when people swear for little things, it seems as if they either hold God in a very low esteem or fail to command faith from the other entity.

Lately I’ve come across situations where my faith was in doubts. The blind confidence in me waived. Trust me, it was scary. More than that it was shattering and I began to question my instincts and my decision making, it took me a while to succumb to what the reality was. Yes, I felt like a fool. The notions that I had came tumbling down. Being the emotional fool that I’ve always been, giving importance more to to the sentiments and little gestures, I pushed myself into a zone where it was all grey. Uncertain. No black, no white, just tints and shades of grey.

But pulling myself out from the grey cave, I realised that faith is a treasure, meant to be protected and kept safe, to not get fooled around and to not believe easily.

If you consider putting your faith into someone or some organisation, think of it as putting a piece of your soul into it. Thus, that’s how cautious you should be.

And if somebody puts his/her faith in you, respect that and work harder to maintain it. That’s one thing that is cherished by a handful. And it definitely will make you feel more accomplished.

Faith is the most beautiful gift you could possibly give to someone and it is indeed the most respectful gesture and honour if someone puts into you.

Until next time folks.



Getting Around. #snailspeed 

I spent today’s evening watching a movie. Up till two-third part of the movie I couldn’t help but think, why didn’t I read a review beforehand so that I could have saved myself from such a torture and some of my money. But I’m glad that I didn’t! By the time the movie ended, it left me in a positive zone- a zone where we’re reminded as to what is important in life.

Life isn’t too long. Each one of us has a limited time and the beauty is, time neither waits nor repeats for anyone. For each day, for each moment, we’ve got just one shot! Coz we all know, we cannot live the same moment that has gone by, ever again. When I say this, I do not mean that we cannot afford to commit mistakes. We sure can! Coz they can be rectified at the right MOMENT. But what cannot be undone is the loss of time we suffer.

There is no bible that tells us how to live by each moment. But it isn’t rocket science too! It just needs a little consideration from us to focus and rejoice the little things in life and not run after the big picture. We are not machines. Sadly, we are driven more by technology and gadgets than emotions and other fellow humans today, more by the apartment size and pay checks than the number of family members and quality time spent with loved ones. But as it’s said, ‘We steer the wheel of our own life, nobody or nothing else should be given that control.’

And the time is always right to do right. So, let’s make some amendments in our list of priorities to not miss out on the real meaningful pleasures in life. It could mean making a phone call in the middle of a busy day to remind your mom of her doctor’s appointment. Or it could mean returning home soon from office to put your child into bed. It could be anything for anyone. But think. Consider. Amend. Coz life’s running at a pace which we don’t even realise how fast is right now. But soon our hair will turn grey, skin will start to sag and our hearts would rewind the years gone by. But nothing could be done then. 

My friend, let each day be worth remembering. For all we know, it’s one life that we’ve been given so let us appreciate and acknowledge its exclusivity to the best.

P.S. This is the personal section where I couldn’t help but write to Him.

Dear You

Each moment of my life since the day you stepped in it has been like the colourful firework show. Just like it, my days are filled with thrill, light, sparks, colors and the festive vibe. You’ve played a crucial role in making me realise how each moment can be turned into a precious memory and treasured. Thank You. 

“Everything is, everything exists, because I love.”



Until next time folks.



Staying Found.

Just like the previous year, I’m here trying to evaluate all the good and bad karma that have gone out in the world from me, this year. It’s been quite an year! Probably one of those where I have learned a lot. Yes, there have been blunders and faults and flaws, but I found the courage to rise up against all of that. And this couldn’t have been possible without my family and friends. Generally, I am very private about it, but today I take this platform as an opportunity to thank each one of my family members and dearest friends, not only for guiding me through but also for bearing with me. I know I can sometimes be a handful!

So, this year I quit my job! With this job, had come the lessons for life. The colleagues, the environment, pity arguments, long discussions, client meetings, deadlines, reporting every evening to my boss and most importantly- the friends I made- my friends for life! No freelancing or any other office could have given me something (or rather I should say- some people) so valuable, which I would cherish in all the years to come. Well, that phase too has ended, with this year. If you’re reading, you’ll know this is for You- I love you guys, and no matter where we end up in the times to come, you would still be my lifelines.

There were highs, there were lows. Some new friends entered the picture frame and some people walked out. To those new friends- I wish and hope that our bond grows stronger with each day to come. And to those who walked out- Nevermind! Good luck for your endeavours and thank you for teaching me a lesson and helping me grow and become a better person.

There was some traveling this year again. To the new places that I explored- You left me awestruck! Your culture, your people, your air, your feel- it all filled me with a fresh excitement and added a new dimension to the way I see the world. And to the places where my folks put up- Thank you for welcoming me with wide open arms. The beautiful moments spent there will forever be craved for, until we meet again! The love and care you showered upon me- for that I have no words.

There was some major decision making too. A decision for life! A decision that brought You into my life. To You- Welcome! Welcome into my tiny little world. By now, you’re already a major part of it. I hope you like it here and together we are able to create our own new world with our family and folks around us.

Well, this year has been a good one! And many might call it a cliché (but I don’t care), I thank God, wherever He is! Thank you for making it all happen in the manner you did! You are the reason- I am wherever I am and whoever I am. Keep me under your guidance in the same way- Keep me found! 

I wish you all good luck, happiness and pink health for the new year.

Until next time,



A Rearview Into The Year Gone By!

The year’s start could not get better, than getting to go on the trip which was being planned since months ago. Finally, sitting in the train, all geared up for my small vacation, it feels great! Sitting, surrounded by not so much of a talkative company, I decide to indulge into some reading. In my bag pack, right next to my novel, is my journal. Journal of 2014. My hand subconsciously picks up the journal and I start to dig into the year gone by.

After a couple of hours, having gone through each page, there were tears in my eyes. The good sweet moments; the nick and corners where there was pain; the laughter rides with friends; the vacations with family; the new job; the old friends; the farewells; the new acquaintances the learning lessons; the fixing up sessions, it all reminded me of what all an year could actually do!

But, it just took me a moment, to really sum up my entire year- zeroing down to a single event. It’s so unfair to all the other 364 days of the year, when their significance is over shadowed by just ONE day- THE DAY.

It could be anything for anyone- for instance, getting the Dream Job, taking an Insane Vacation, finding your The One, or just about anything.

But, it’s beautiful, how the joy of one small moment, or the happiness of having experienced THE DAY, could minimise all the low and sad moments of the year. One tends to remember the yearly just one incident one event. That solely becomes the focal point.

It happened with me. And my dear reader, I believe, no matter how hard 2014 might have had been on you, but you could still find one such event which would make you smile, when you think of the year gone by! So, take a rear view into it, and find your magic moment of 2014.