Best Friend.

After hanging up your phone call, I just realised, it’s been 10 years since you’ve been my dearest friend. A decade! I feel so honoured and so much at peace, just thinking about having you in my life. We’ve grown up together, sharing our lives in the sweetest form, learning from each other, supporting one another, looking out for each other.

The memories that I have of our childhood- truly innocent and pure. You showed me what it’s like to love someone without expecting anything in return, you set an example by having stood by in the worse times, you showered utmost care and compassion when I needed it. You may not take the credit, but of many things that I am today, the little share of good ones that is there- many are because of you. 

The platonic connect we have, the unsaid understanding we share- it feels like a comfortable mattress where I can fall upon when I feel fragile. Months go by without talking to you but my thoughts always encircle around you. I write this today not because I need to tell you all this- you already know (because you are among those few who know me better than myself). I am writing this because our bond is eternal and I want to leave an imprint of it beyond time. 

I love you Divyani, for the beautiful person you are, for the amazing life you’ve made for yourself and for honouring me with your friendship. I am truly blessed. Keep loving me 🙂 .

Until next time.

Love 

-A

Thoughts. Thoughts of Thoughts. And more Thoughts!

As ironic as it may sound, if I could think of one single thing that could be the most productive and the most destructive in its innate nature, that would be- a THOUGHT. It’s funny how a tiny seed takes birth in our brain and can germinate into something, having a million possibilities.

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The other day, while I was too lazy to get out of my bed for an entire day, random thoughts kept crossing my mind. And suddenly, my brain got stuck onto a particular one. Taking it around in my brain, from one nueron to another, in no time did that silly tiny thought had triggered a series of thoughts. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out into a happy one. And more unfortunate was the fact, that it didn’t have any concrete basis. Not did I know it right then.

But at that moment, I felt it real. I was left at unease.

After a few hours of having my mood swings and the lowest lows of the day, I decided to confide my thoughts in a friend. That was the best remedy I could think of.

And trust me, I wasn’t proven wrong. Soon my doubts were clear, the grey clouds of shady thoughts vanished and I was left feeling stupid and guilty about the hours of agony, anxiety and apprehension, I went through.

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At times, a little insight from another person, a different perspective, an understanding or just a patient ear is enough to get yourself out from the ditch of thoughts. But for that, make sure you have the right person. Coz as Frank Underwood rightly said, ‘One man’s tragedy is another man’s treasure.’ 

So if you’re lucky enough, you’ll find someone along the journey, and if not, God probably knows, you’re a smartass and will find your way. I guess my name is definitely off the smart people’s list! 

So dear reader, don’t be afraid to have your brain running into different directions all the time, but try and learn, when to halt, to let your brain take a breath. I am learning too.

Love

-A

Feature image courtesy: http://www.elephantjournal.com

Every Saint Has A Past.. Every Sinner Has A Future!

At times in life we lose our ability to decide on what is right and what is wrong. We end up doing things which weren’t meant to have been done. But, that doesn’t mean that we are not the same person anymore by heart. We are never taught how to go about life at different stages. The smart asses get their way out perfectly at all times.. But some jerks like me stumble a few times before we get our way out.

A few days back.. That wasn’t the way my thought process worked, to be frank! I was equally judgemental of the blunders I had committed till now. But a very dear friend gave me this new perspective towards the whole idea. And now I realise, life is not about crying over what happened or the wrong decisions we made.. Life is about what we learn from them and how we make the journey more beautiful. It’s about looking at the prettier things that life has to offer. No matter how big the blunder was.. Or how bad our life got affected by the decision we made.. Unless we make peace with it and find closure within, the world will not let make peace with it too. All we need to do is drop the baggage and move ahead. With a pure heart and good intentions, I believe, we could still move the world around!

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I read this a long time ago.. But in real, today I understood its meaning..

‘I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive himself or herself. Because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that’s rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we never are able to live the life that god has planned for us.’ 

-Maya Angelou

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Breathe Out A Bit Of Love!

It was just like a usual evening and I had gone for a run at the city park after a long day’s work. As I parked my car and got out with my earphones plugged in my iPod and music bursting loud, I was stopped on my way by two little kids. They weren’t keeping well and asked me for some money. I told them that I’ll buy them food, but on a condition- they button up their shirts and wash their face. They immediately rushed towards the Shiv temple which was a few steps away and splashed water on their face from the water cooler. Meanwhile, I bought a few biscuits from a small departmental store and moved towards them. The smile on their faces moved me. I hadn’t seen them before, yet the joy in their eyes was quite satisfying for me, that moment. I gave them the biscuits and headed off to the park for my jog. It was a good end to my day.

Eventually, from that day on, meeting those two kids became a regular affair. I started to keep a few packets of biscuits in my car itself for them. The kids kept them clean, with their shirts buttoned up everyday. Smart chaps they were. The moment they used to see my car getting parked at the usual spot, they would come running. And frankly, even my eyes used to be in search of them as I stepped out everyday. Unknowingly, we’d somehow become friends.

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Well, today wasn’t one of my ‘best days’ in record- a long day at work and a quarrel with a colleague. Though I was very tired, an evening jog was much needed to clear my head and get some air.

I parked my car and got out. My two friends came running, but today I was too indifferent to them. The stress at work had done its job well, it seemed. I ignored them and left for my workout. While on the track, my heart wasn’t at ease as my thoughts went back to the kids. Somehow, I didn’t feel good about myself. But what was done, was done! After all, they were just two little kids- whose’ names too, I had not known. I guess, it never occurred to me that I hadn’t asked them at all.

I soon finished my jog and reached for my car keys in the pocket as I returned to my car. I saw the two kids sitting on the bonnet of my car. Wasn’t expecting that at all. As I approached near, one of them questioned me with a gloomy face, “Aap naraaz ho kya hum se?” That one innocent question was enough to make me realise, that I had been so unfair to them. Soon, I apologised and gave them their biscuits. And finally, I enquired their name. Raja and Amit then told me about their day’s events and I had a good time, indeed. Soon, I left for home with a smile on my face.

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Sometimes, all we need, is a little reminder of how beautiful life is. If we have pain, we certainly don’t have to be one. Everyday, we must reach out to someone. Everyday, we must breathe out a bit of love.

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