The new year post.

It’s cold outside, one of the coldest nights of this season so far. But it’s colder inside. As I lie all buried in my blanket, I symbolically think back on the time gone by as I change my calendar on my side table. It was a year of new challenges, learnings, adjustments, realisation and love.

Overall it was a good year but my focus is making a shift to the part that was after all not so good. Unfortunately that ugly part comes down onto me. Here I am, confessing to you all today because this is someplace where I am free, where I am unbound. I wouldn’t be judged and I can drop my baggage before I head into the new year. Bear with me.

I have had days where I was in self-doubt, constantly struggling to make my way, afraid of what others might approve/disapprove of. I could notice an invariable change in my personality so much so that I had jumping personalities as I jumped from meeting one person to another. Like a saint I tried giving up expectations but so far it has turned out to be the self created delusion and hasn’t done any good. I have also realised that I am hopelessly emotional and sensitive and that has somehow added to the agony. My health has deteriorated over the last few months, probably because I gave other things more importance. 

Emotionally it has been a hell of a roller coaster. I’ve had highs, I’ve had lows. One moment I was filled with love, the next completely drained and left empty. I’ve had laughter, I’ve had tears. Most of it was probably self built up coz that’s what I’m asked to believe and eventually I find comfort in the fact and thank god for it all not being real. It’s a zone where my logics and explanations do not work. It’s a place where I do not want to go. 

No matter how I have been in the past year at personal and emotional level but I’m pretty sure that the coming year would still be filled with sweet hopes, spirituality and honest love to spread around. Certain points that I have learnt and will keep in mind while I tread through these months ahead are- 

•Keep your health at the top of your priority list.

•Its okay to have some expectations, but from the right people.

•Keep doing your thing, people will still talk and judge if you don’t.

•Give yourself the time to do things that you enjoy. It ain’t coming back.

I wish you all light and love and hope. Be better.
Thanks for reading me vent out.

Until next time folks.


Clarity amidst Black, White and Grey.

This post is an extension to my previous blog post ‘Black. White. Grey.’ You can read it HERE. And this one is for an intrigued reader: I hope I’m able to satisfy your curiosity by the end of it. 

In the earlier post I had written, “If you think of putting your faith into someone or some organisation, consider it as putting a piece of your soul into it.” 
Well, once you’ve put down your faith into an entity (mind you, after a lot of pondering over it), treat it as if it’s a part of your wealth which you’ve locked into a treasure box and kept away. There might be times when you’ll fall in doubts or when somebody instigates you against it when the winds aren’t blowing in the favourable or desired direction, BUT hold on to your conviction unless you’re disproven.

The Holy Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” 
I’d like to amend it and put it as, “Have faith in yourself and lean completely on your conviction until the end. After all what is faith if it doesn’t endure when we are tested most.” 

Until next time folks.



Black. White. Grey.

From the archives.

Faith. It’s a peculiar thing. To earn it is the hardest, to put into somebody is the scariest and to lose it is the easiest. 

In this big banged world, all around, when people swear for little things, it seems as if they either hold God in a very low esteem or fail to command faith from the other entity.

Lately I’ve come across situations where my faith was in doubts. The blind confidence in me waived. Trust me, it was scary. More than that it was shattering and I began to question my instincts and my decision making, it took me a while to succumb to what the reality was. Yes, I felt like a fool. The notions that I had came tumbling down. Being the emotional fool that I’ve always been, giving importance more to to the sentiments and little gestures, I pushed myself into a zone where it was all grey. Uncertain. No black, no white, just tints and shades of grey.

But pulling myself out from the grey cave, I realised that faith is a treasure, meant to be protected and kept safe, to not get fooled around and to not believe easily.

If you consider putting your faith into someone or some organisation, think of it as putting a piece of your soul into it. Thus, that’s how cautious you should be.

And if somebody puts his/her faith in you, respect that and work harder to maintain it. That’s one thing that is cherished by a handful. And it definitely will make you feel more accomplished.

Faith is the most beautiful gift you could possibly give to someone and it is indeed the most respectful gesture and honour if someone puts into you.

Until next time folks.




This one is from my archives. This piece was in my diary since quite a while now, I think, now was the right time to publish it.


Life’s been pretty surprising lately. In both, good and bad ways. It turns out that the bad is always followed by the good. Like, it is some law of nature.
The past few months have been constantly slapping me with questions right across my face about my faith and belief. And in this trial of time, I thought, that I had LOST! Yes. the fundamentals in which I had put in my faith, seemed to have trembled and its foundation crumpled.
I momentarily stood as a person without faith! And as they say- “Faith is a gift, which I am yet to receive, again!”

In such a moment, I felt blindfolded, with no idea where to go. The death of belief made it impossible to even seek help from somebody. But one must remember to turn on the light when it gets dark. And the exact happened.
With all the chaos in my head, I tried to find my calm. I was constantly in search for the answers to my questions. And when the time was right- just perfect- as if God was set to play his moves, I got my answers unexpectedly. And all at once, the sky was clear, the dark clouds vanished, the ray of light carrying hope and joy and satisfaction touched my soul with its tenderness and warmth.


And right now, while sitting under the halogen bulb, out in my verandah, in front of my lush green garden, I can see the twinkling stars, shining away in all their glory and smiling at me. Thinking back to all that had occurred, I realized, it’s OKAY to panic at times! It’s OKAY to feel the dark and despair at times! What’s not okay is to give in and succumb to it. What’s important is to keep looking and figure out. What’s needed is to be patient with a belief- that it will all be Okay!

And dear reader, it is important to understand- there are days that ask questions, but don’t forget to remind yourself- there will come a day to answer them!