After hanging up your phone call, I just realised, it’s been 10 years since you’ve been my dearest friend. A decade! I feel so honoured and so much at peace, just thinking about having you in my life. We’ve grown up together, sharing our lives in the sweetest form, learning from each other, supporting one another, looking out for each other.
The memories that I have of our childhood- truly innocent and pure. You showed me what it’s like to love someone without expecting anything in return, you set an example by having stood by in the worse times, you showered utmost care and compassion when I needed it. You may not take the credit, but of many things that I am today, the little share of good ones that is there- many are because of you.
The platonic connect we have, the unsaid understanding we share- it feels like a comfortable mattress where I can fall upon when I feel fragile. Months go by without talking to you but my thoughts always encircle around you. I write this today not because I need to tell you all this- you already know (because you are among those few who know me better than myself). I am writing this because our bond is eternal and I want to leave an imprint of it beyond time.
I love you Divyani, for the beautiful person you are, for the amazing life you’ve made for yourself and for honouring me with your friendship. I am truly blessed. Keep loving me 🙂 .
Until next time.
Sitting in my balcony at this hour, suddenly reminded me of a beautiful night amidst the mountains in McLeod Gunj.
It was late and as usual, I was out under the stars while everyone else slept after a tired long day of travelling and sightseeing. There was something in the calm winds which nudged me now and then, brushing through my hair. It was Divine. Sitting wrapped up in my shawl I lay thinking about all that I did in the day and then my thoughts drifted to what all I had to see and do. There was plenty. To make a list and remember it, I ran inside my hotel room on my toes in order to not disturb my brother sleeping there. I caught hold of my hand bag and took out my little diary. I came back and settled in my chair soon and began to jot down everything that rushed through my mind.
The list included anything and everything. From ice skating to sky diving, from singing live infront of an audience (despite having the worst singing voice) to camping out in the woods, from falling in love to roaming alone in the streets of an unknown city, from trying every possible cuisine to swinging on hammock and watch the day go by, from reading a good book all day long to spending my evenings with my grandparents listening to their legendary stories.. these were a few things that I could recall from what I had written that day.. there were many more.. I had spent almost the entire night in this.
Going back to all this at this point make me realise how time has flown by, the maturity has crept in (without my permission though) and things have changed. That carefree little girl is now a grown up (at least I like to think so). The one who never thought twice before expressing her stupid dreams and useless demands, now keeps it all in her heart thinking people would laugh and judge and expect her to behave APPROPRIATELY. Does ageing mean this? To stop being the carefree one?! To not be in a position to demand or dream of the silliest things?! Why everything needs to be so PROPER and so APPROPRIATE . Can’t it all just be the way it wants to be.
Now when I sit all by myself at times, there’s something lacking in the whole feel of it. It’s not the same anymore. It’s probably because I don’t let myself flow away in those careless thoughts which now seem unreal at times. They seem stupid and at times they seem to be not making any sense at all. There. That’s the reason I have never felt that divine calmness of that evening ever again.
It’s a faint memory but a very special one. I miss that balcony of my hotel room and I miss that diary of mine.
I hope someday I’ll be able to fly in my thoughts yet again. Someday I’ll be somewhere, where I could drop this baggage of being a grown up and somehow I’ll make a list again.
Until next time folks