On Such A Rainy Day!

My favorite time of the year is now here. It’s a silly reason to be happy about the arrival of monsoon, but, just like a little child, I am. The sky and clouds are in full run to show their magnificent display of art. The bright hues turning into shades of grey and then a band of colors emerging, mounting them all – isn’t it just spectacular! This part of the year reinforces my beliefs in nature’s miracles, like anything is possible, like I might just get all that I’d hoped for, especially when I had stopped looking.

To some it might be just another rainy day- hampering their work, disturbing their schedule. But to me- it’s an opportunity to pause and take a look at the beauty around, it’s the nature’s way to give me a break in the monotonous life and enjoy a day off, it’s the time to let the raindrops fall on me and let them tingle my skin, make me feel important just by reminding me that there’s somebody above who’s looking down at me and wishes to see me smile.

It’s amazing how I can put all my thoughts aside and just live the moment. The connect I feel to the nature is strangely even stronger than the one’s in my routine with people around. The positivity that flushes through, it’s unmatchable to any other source. It’s probably because of my childhood days. I still remember, on a rainy day, how my dad used to return home from office as soon as it began to pour. With all the yummy munchies that my mom cooked and our entire family gathered on the patio, kids drenching in the rain and some (like me) busy in building their ships to put them out on sail. (Oh, how dad worked meticulously to have me build the strongest paper ships among all). The long car drives with windows open and water drops gushing in with the wind – I felt like my dad was a superman who could even manage to drive in such a weather. The thrill I felt, its nowhere close to the adrenaline pump i get in any other adventure today. And that is because, with mom and dad, I knew that the only reason the munchies were prepared, dad was back from office, ships were being built and we were out on a drive – was because i had wanted it all! And the mystical part of the story (my favourite part) – I never said it out loud, but they understood. They made me believe in magic, in possibilities.

Its because of them that I have an eye of appreciating nature in the most simple form. I’ll forever owe it to them. And my heart will never feel the same thrill until the next time my dad takes me out on another drive on such a rainy day!

Me: Papa! My ship isn’t strong. It will sink in the middle of it’s journey.

Papa: Don’t worry, it will sail through. And just incase it doesn’t, why did i teach you to swim? Go for it. You’ll be just fine.

Thanks for being my tutor Mama and Papa. The best ever! You keep me going for it. Love You!

Until next time folks.

Love

-A

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Clarity amidst Black, White and Grey.

This post is an extension to my previous blog post ‘Black. White. Grey.’ You can read it HERE. And this one is for an intrigued reader: I hope I’m able to satisfy your curiosity by the end of it. 

In the earlier post I had written, “If you think of putting your faith into someone or some organisation, consider it as putting a piece of your soul into it.” 
Well, once you’ve put down your faith into an entity (mind you, after a lot of pondering over it), treat it as if it’s a part of your wealth which you’ve locked into a treasure box and kept away. There might be times when you’ll fall in doubts or when somebody instigates you against it when the winds aren’t blowing in the favourable or desired direction, BUT hold on to your conviction unless you’re disproven.

The Holy Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” 
I’d like to amend it and put it as, “Have faith in yourself and lean completely on your conviction until the end. After all what is faith if it doesn’t endure when we are tested most.” 

Until next time folks.

Cheers 

-A

The Mountain Girl.

Oh! There you are again
I can see you now
As I look up at the mountain range
Sitting at my window pane.
Years have gone by
But you’re still the same
A fragment of my imagination 
Still intact and unchanged.

‘Oh little girl, how does it feel?
To be surrounded by clouds 
In a little hut, on a cliff?
With a fireplace to keep you warm
And white mittens that feel so soft
The hot cocoa at your desk
The music on the radio flirting in the air
The raindrops tip-tapping on your glass
The tiny shoes you put on for a dance
The twinkling yellow lights that adorn your bed
The fairytale books that are piled up in your rack
The chiffon curtain which play with the winds
The cozy little bed that you jump in
Your little friends that come by and play
The fresh baked muffins that your mom makes
The cheers and laughter you all share
With no worries there to bear.’

‘Oh Little Girl,
How does it feel?
When you look down upon the world
In which I live in.
Do you wonder too
What would it be like
To be down here 
And live a life?’

It ain’t mean here 
But people hurt each other at times
It ain’t bad here
But hypocrisy is their favourite crime
It ain’t sad here 
But laughter ain’t genuine all the time.
Love, too, has its place here
But the conditions that come along
Are hard to bear.
I’m told this is the real world
But why then,
Masks are what people wear.

‘Oh Little Mountain Girl,
Stay where you are
You give me hope for a utopia.
Someday somehow I’ll come to you 
And together we’ll take a look 
At the world below.’

Until next time folks.
Love
-A

Featured Image Courtesy: Pinterest 

B L A N K .

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tick Tock!

Tick Tock!

Been two hours now.
Not a sentence.
Not a single word.
Zilch.

All I could manage to do in the past two hours was scribble. Scribble and scratch all over my diary. (Thanks to this old fashioned way of writing, atleast I was able to do something.)
This is weird. This is so not me. When I sat down with my stationery I knew what I wanted to write about. But every time I tried with a fresh line to start, my words failed me, my thoughts betrayed me. I couldn’t find my focal point. I felt lost. I felt BLANK.

And then I was restless.

Restless about the fact that I wasn’t able to do anything. I felt captivated. I felt chained. And the funny part- NO APPARENT REASON!

Or maybe there was a reason. Maybe it was my heart that was playing the game of denial. Game of unacceptance. Because sometimes the truth is hurtful. And subconsciously we’re aware of that ‘truth’ being a fact. And the fact having the power of inflicting hurt. 

But it’s funny how we try to conceal the ‘truth’, the ‘fact’ and thus the ‘hurt’. 
We’re hurting, but we’re quiet. We’re whining inside, but we put up a smile. Isn’t that hypocrisy?! Though with oneself, but it is. 

But unless enough strength is gathered, immense courage piled up, the self-hypocrisy would overpower. And I have no shame in admitting that I haven’t found that courage yet. The courage to acknowledge, at times, what my heart really feels deep down, to question the acts and things which  hurt me, to let it all free from its own captivity.

But even then, I am okay! I am okay with my hypocrisy because I have the urge to reach out. Though silently, but I am trying to not let my happiness be arrested by somebody else’s acts. Though feeling captivated, I’m still fluttering my wings to be the free bird again.

P.S. To any reader who found this write up disappointing, I apologise. But I had to clear my head. Bear with me. 

Until next time folks.

Love

-A 

Thoughts. Thoughts of Thoughts. And more Thoughts!

As ironic as it may sound, if I could think of one single thing that could be the most productive and the most destructive in its innate nature, that would be- a THOUGHT. It’s funny how a tiny seed takes birth in our brain and can germinate into something, having a million possibilities.

****

The other day, while I was too lazy to get out of my bed for an entire day, random thoughts kept crossing my mind. And suddenly, my brain got stuck onto a particular one. Taking it around in my brain, from one nueron to another, in no time did that silly tiny thought had triggered a series of thoughts. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out into a happy one. And more unfortunate was the fact, that it didn’t have any concrete basis. Not did I know it right then.

But at that moment, I felt it real. I was left at unease.

After a few hours of having my mood swings and the lowest lows of the day, I decided to confide my thoughts in a friend. That was the best remedy I could think of.

And trust me, I wasn’t proven wrong. Soon my doubts were clear, the grey clouds of shady thoughts vanished and I was left feeling stupid and guilty about the hours of agony, anxiety and apprehension, I went through.

****

At times, a little insight from another person, a different perspective, an understanding or just a patient ear is enough to get yourself out from the ditch of thoughts. But for that, make sure you have the right person. Coz as Frank Underwood rightly said, ‘One man’s tragedy is another man’s treasure.’ 

So if you’re lucky enough, you’ll find someone along the journey, and if not, God probably knows, you’re a smartass and will find your way. I guess my name is definitely off the smart people’s list! 

So dear reader, don’t be afraid to have your brain running into different directions all the time, but try and learn, when to halt, to let your brain take a breath. I am learning too.

Love

-A

Feature image courtesy: http://www.elephantjournal.com

Time To Go Home!

 My favourite time of the year is around. The winds have turned cooler. The nights have started to last longer. The birds are returning to their nests sooner. And the number of my coffee cups have increased by a number.

**WINTER IS COMING**

You can say I too am from the GOT fan club.

What excites me the most about this season, is the festivities that come along- with Diwali being my favourite.

The whole city gears up to welcome Maa Laxmi months before. From cleaning up every nook and corner of the house to giving an impeccable makeover to home; from planning the menu for The Day to buying the ‘new dress’ for the New Day; from getting all the crackers and lighting with the siblings to filling colours into the rangoli- this festival holds a different meaning for everyone.

But what I cherish the most at this time- is the homecoming of my favourite people. My elder brother, my cousins and friends- all come around on this occasion. It is the excitement of celebrating together that thrills me the most. The funfilled time spent with the family- sitting around in the living area, relishing on the delicacies prepared by mom and grandma, the laughter, the teasing, the movie plans, the card games- it all sums up to a perfect celebration. And catching up with long lost friends, giggling over the childhood memories, feeling proud over the success of some and laughing away at the failures of some- reliving the good old days just acts like a cherry on the cake! 

At this time I feel blessed to have all my favorite people around me, and somehow, it gives a reassurance- that no matter how busy one’s life has become; no matter how many professional commitments is one engaged into, the priority for everyone still remains their family and friends. 

It’s the little moments of happiness like these that add meaning to life.

Wishing you all a very happy and joyous Diwali! 

Love
-A

Picture Courtesy: Terribly Tiny Tales

I stand quietly

Dirty, Naked & Happy

I stand quietly while you do somersaults on the bed as you aren’t being naughty, you are just trying to get your out of sync body under control.

I stand quietly by the toilet door every time you need to go, and come with you around the house, and sometimes even just across the room, because I know you can feel truly frightened when you are not near me.

I stand quietly at the supermarket checkout while everyone stares at you barking like a dog and blowing raspberries on my arms to cope with the buzzing lights.

I stand quietly while you tell the baffled shop owner that you are looking for shoes that feel hard like splintered wood because your skin can’t bear soft things.

I stand quietly when the attendant gives us scornful looks when I ask for the key to the disabled toilet because the hand dryer…

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