The new year post.

It’s cold outside, one of the coldest nights of this season so far. But it’s colder inside. As I lie all buried in my blanket, I symbolically think back on the time gone by as I change my calendar on my side table. It was a year of new challenges, learnings, adjustments, realisation and love.

Overall it was a good year but my focus is making a shift to the part that was after all not so good. Unfortunately that ugly part comes down onto me. Here I am, confessing to you all today because this is someplace where I am free, where I am unbound. I wouldn’t be judged and I can drop my baggage before I head into the new year. Bear with me.

I have had days where I was in self-doubt, constantly struggling to make my way, afraid of what others might approve/disapprove of. I could notice an invariable change in my personality so much so that I had jumping personalities as I jumped from meeting one person to another. Like a saint I tried giving up expectations but so far it has turned out to be the self created delusion and hasn’t done any good. I have also realised that I am hopelessly emotional and sensitive and that has somehow added to the agony. My health has deteriorated over the last few months, probably because I gave other things more importance. 

Emotionally it has been a hell of a roller coaster. I’ve had highs, I’ve had lows. One moment I was filled with love, the next completely drained and left empty. I’ve had laughter, I’ve had tears. Most of it was probably self built up coz that’s what I’m asked to believe and eventually I find comfort in the fact and thank god for it all not being real. It’s a zone where my logics and explanations do not work. It’s a place where I do not want to go. 

No matter how I have been in the past year at personal and emotional level but I’m pretty sure that the coming year would still be filled with sweet hopes, spirituality and honest love to spread around. Certain points that I have learnt and will keep in mind while I tread through these months ahead are- 

•Keep your health at the top of your priority list.

•Its okay to have some expectations, but from the right people.

•Keep doing your thing, people will still talk and judge if you don’t.

•Give yourself the time to do things that you enjoy. It ain’t coming back.

I wish you all light and love and hope. Be better.
Thanks for reading me vent out.

Until next time folks.


Staying Found.

Just like the previous year, I’m here trying to evaluate all the good and bad karma that have gone out in the world from me, this year. It’s been quite an year! Probably one of those where I have learned a lot. Yes, there have been blunders and faults and flaws, but I found the courage to rise up against all of that. And this couldn’t have been possible without my family and friends. Generally, I am very private about it, but today I take this platform as an opportunity to thank each one of my family members and dearest friends, not only for guiding me through but also for bearing with me. I know I can sometimes be a handful!

So, this year I quit my job! With this job, had come the lessons for life. The colleagues, the environment, pity arguments, long discussions, client meetings, deadlines, reporting every evening to my boss and most importantly- the friends I made- my friends for life! No freelancing or any other office could have given me something (or rather I should say- some people) so valuable, which I would cherish in all the years to come. Well, that phase too has ended, with this year. If you’re reading, you’ll know this is for You- I love you guys, and no matter where we end up in the times to come, you would still be my lifelines.

There were highs, there were lows. Some new friends entered the picture frame and some people walked out. To those new friends- I wish and hope that our bond grows stronger with each day to come. And to those who walked out- Nevermind! Good luck for your endeavours and thank you for teaching me a lesson and helping me grow and become a better person.

There was some traveling this year again. To the new places that I explored- You left me awestruck! Your culture, your people, your air, your feel- it all filled me with a fresh excitement and added a new dimension to the way I see the world. And to the places where my folks put up- Thank you for welcoming me with wide open arms. The beautiful moments spent there will forever be craved for, until we meet again! The love and care you showered upon me- for that I have no words.

There was some major decision making too. A decision for life! A decision that brought You into my life. To You- Welcome! Welcome into my tiny little world. By now, you’re already a major part of it. I hope you like it here and together we are able to create our own new world with our family and folks around us.

Well, this year has been a good one! And many might call it a cliché (but I don’t care), I thank God, wherever He is! Thank you for making it all happen in the manner you did! You are the reason- I am wherever I am and whoever I am. Keep me under your guidance in the same way- Keep me found! 

I wish you all good luck, happiness and pink health for the new year.

Until next time,




This one is from my archives. This piece was in my diary since quite a while now, I think, now was the right time to publish it.


Life’s been pretty surprising lately. In both, good and bad ways. It turns out that the bad is always followed by the good. Like, it is some law of nature.
The past few months have been constantly slapping me with questions right across my face about my faith and belief. And in this trial of time, I thought, that I had LOST! Yes. the fundamentals in which I had put in my faith, seemed to have trembled and its foundation crumpled.
I momentarily stood as a person without faith! And as they say- “Faith is a gift, which I am yet to receive, again!”

In such a moment, I felt blindfolded, with no idea where to go. The death of belief made it impossible to even seek help from somebody. But one must remember to turn on the light when it gets dark. And the exact happened.
With all the chaos in my head, I tried to find my calm. I was constantly in search for the answers to my questions. And when the time was right- just perfect- as if God was set to play his moves, I got my answers unexpectedly. And all at once, the sky was clear, the dark clouds vanished, the ray of light carrying hope and joy and satisfaction touched my soul with its tenderness and warmth.


And right now, while sitting under the halogen bulb, out in my verandah, in front of my lush green garden, I can see the twinkling stars, shining away in all their glory and smiling at me. Thinking back to all that had occurred, I realized, it’s OKAY to panic at times! It’s OKAY to feel the dark and despair at times! What’s not okay is to give in and succumb to it. What’s important is to keep looking and figure out. What’s needed is to be patient with a belief- that it will all be Okay!

And dear reader, it is important to understand- there are days that ask questions, but don’t forget to remind yourself- there will come a day to answer them!